A vote for me and not for thee

Having to live in a world where your rights aren't as important as someone's wallet

There are going to be a lot of people asking “how did this happen?” and a lot of people with the supposed answers to that question following the shock of the 2024 election.

It happened in 2004, too. After a well-done campaign by John Kerry led to the last time a Republican presidential candidate won a majority of the popular vote, a lot of people on the left were shell-shocked. There were even prognoses that Democrats would not win another election for a generation. The U.S. was clearly a country that had strong moralistic Christian values and needed a generation of political leadership that respected that. A Constitutional amendment prohibiting gay marriage was “on the table.”

I’ve been thinking a lot about 2004 these past 48 hours, after Donald Trump swept almost every swing state in the 2024 Presidential Election.

That election came at a time when America was in turbulence. We watched the invasion of Baghdad live on CNN. The attacks of 9/11 were still fresh in our memories. The economy was booming. Yet, the guy in charge was seemingly incompetent and every word out of his mouth couldn’t be believed.

So the Democrats trusted a war hero with an exemplary record and pretty left-wing politics for the time to be their standard bearer. According to the polls he was going to cruise to the White House. That did not happen.

Most of what I remember from 2004 came in that summer. We had a debilitating blackout on the East Coast that came out of nowhere. It crippled infrastructure temporarily and showed us how ill-prepared we were for a future where something like this could happen again at a moment’s notice. New Jersey’s governor was forced to resign on a corruption scandal. That was pretty normal, but what was normal was he was forced to out himself as gay in order to save his job. That didn’t work. You still can’t give a government job to the person you’re having an affair with. I remember being a young person going through the beginnings of puberty and wondering why it made me so confused and hate myself going “why are we not prepared for our future? who cares if the governor is gay? why aren’t more people against the iraq war?” to my friends. Not many cared.

In the final months of the 2004 election, a group of operatives seeded tons of media stories lying about Kerry’s war record making him seem like a fraud. It was disproven multiple times. No one cared, they still believed it. They voted for Bush. He was going to cut taxes. He was principled. I felt like I was going insane, and I was only 13.

Karl Rove, the architect of Bush’s 2004 win probably has had the most fun 48 hours of his life this week because it feels like almost everything I’m typing about 2004 has come to pass again 20 years later in some capacity.

I’ve been questioning my reality the last two days about this election. I live in a highly politically engaged area of New Jersey right across the river from Bucks County, PA. One of those nearly split counties that gets attention every four years. Kamala Harris held rallies there. Even in the rural areas surrounding where I live, the enthusiasm for her was palpable. Yet, she lost so much ground here when the votes were tallied up. New Jersey itself was one of the states that swung double digits to Trump when all the votes were tallied up. A man who’s supporters’ enthusiasm for him was not evident swept to the White House, making up margins in suburban areas that had shifted so hard for Joe Biden we were convinced a new political realignment was emerging.

A campaign based on hope lost to a campaign based on fear and promises of prosperity for the individual, despite all the evidence showing that would not be the case. I felt like I was going insane, and I was only 33.

There are going to be many, many reasons why the Democrats lost the 2024 election. But I think looking at it holistically, something pretty stark is emerging: American life is offering a vision of uncertainty and people are looking to themselves to be the only ones to make it through. Our information environment is not conducive to sharing how we can help each other. Networks on the ground are running up against multi-level marketing schemes of reality which promise advancement if you just trust the person who has already made it up the ladder instead of pooling together to form strength in bonds. Young people are told they’re one or two parlays away from making it rich and if they repeat it they can be someone who influences others. They’re not told doing so makes it more likely their house is going to be lost and the financial future will be utterly fucked for the short term. People are voting en masse for abortion, yet also for candidates that will gleefully sign a six week abortion ban at some point in 2025.

One of the things about being trans in America in 2024 is noticing who is willing to stand by your side when things get rough and who is all too happy to say “this is a divisive issue that maybe we should not focus on.” Its happening already and its dispiriting to see less than 48 hours from a crushing electoral loss.

This feels like the “what can you do for me, and me alone” election. People are being told those who inherited the halls of power are the reason for their ossification in all forms of life, whether or not that is true. One party apparatus, clinging to a structure with deeply systemic flaws tried to present a vision of hope with modest changes and the idea that staying the course will continue gains for the vast amount of Americans. One party apparatus told the country every chance it could in small soundbytes that its not your fault you’re struggling and they were going to punish everyone else who is preventing you from having success — and used the darkest version of that message without any form of shame. Sadly, that message worked.

What is even scarier is just how stacked against the message of hope was our information ecosystem that could not fathom allowing it to penetrate. Part of that is the conventional wisdom guiding politics is from a past era. Part of it is that people just don’t want to help out people with no gain for themselves. Part of it is those with the money are making sure that we hear their chosen beliefs: that its not your fault that you didn’t succeed and if you punish the right people, then you can be like them. Checking in on your fellow Americans is out, because if you do it they’ll make you use pronouns every time you introduce yourself and you have to live with the discomfort of the sins of your forefathers. Also, some of them have blue hair and are young and immature. God forbid.

People don’t want to confront the impact of the political choices that get made every day. They don’t want to have to think about the choices that they make once a year may not be best for the vast majority of this country. They just want things to run smoothly and to cost less, it seems. At least, that’s what we’re told.

I don’t think that’s true, though. Maybe it is. But, I think the way to move past this is still think about the impacts small and large we can have in whatever we retreat into. Check in on your friends. Help volunteer when you can. Do something for someone else be it online or in person when you can. Retreating into local issues does not mean not taking responsibility for your communities and working to make them better. Now’s not the time to want others to suffer. Punishing political enemies and demanding accountabilities in our political allies is not about inflicting pain. It’s about cauterizing wounds and making sure they don’t get infected. There’s some pain involved because ultimately it is about healing.

So, if you’re looking for something small to do that could help more than you ever thing: the next time you see someone unsure of themselves and nervous as they’re about to walk into a public restroom, maybe just smile at them rather than prepare to film them and confront them. Just a thought.